Jul 24-30, '05

(July, 2005)

We have a heat wave in NY. B and I have a great bonding night watching Jurassic Park. Dan and I meet at Cheers. Narc calls me and invites me over. He pressures me to come quickly. NDN spills my drink out and gets into a quarrel with IrishBird. He's banned from the bar. Dan tells me that he's in love with me. Narc tells me that he thought we "weren't having sex," but apparently he doesn't count blowjobs. He tells me about his upcoming trip to Europe. Narc and I watch Wuthering Heights. (Love!) Nipkins and I go for dinner. I meet Crys and Pati at Cheers and bring them back here for "medicine." I head to D.C. to visit Hammer. My cell phone completely stops working. We eat Ghanaian food and I meet her brother.

Jul 10-16, '05

(July, 2005)

I return all of my overdue library books. I crazy glue my cellphone together. Narc drunk-calls me "just to talk." B and I take my cat to the vet. Narc emails me to apologize for his calls and to reiterate that we are taking a "break" from each other. I respond kindly. I go to an AA meeting. I go to Long Island to have dinner with my mom. (We eat Belgian food). NDN impersonates my mom to American Express. I go back to taking voice lessons. Narc posts on his blog that he doesn't know why he can't have love in his life, and blames himself. NDN and I have lunch at Maharaja. Bezoukhoff and I go to the library, and then to see 1930's films at Film Forum. I call the Stallion at home before going to Anxious' housewarming party. BarMan is drunk at Cheers. I call Narc in the middle of the night and he picks up. He invites me over and tells me to bring coke. Narc becomes a vegetarian. Narc cuddles me and apologizes about the Exihbitionist thing. We go out for Indian food the next day. We walk around the waterfront and he tells me about his fight with the Exhibitionist.

Jul 3-9, '05

(July, 2005)

I send Narc a goodbye email to get some closure. NDN comes to Long Island with me for the Fourth of July. Narc texts me to call him if I think it's possible "to be friends." IronChef gives me some editing work to do. I meet Nipkins for dinner. Oc and I go out for drinks and Dan joins us. We meet Tia. Narc leaves me several drunk messages (including the strange misogynistic "serpentine" message). B and I see March of the Penguins. Spinsterwitch and LavaLady appear as commenters. Narc and I exchange texts. He wishes me luck and says goodbye. The Stallion leaves me a note with the doorman and stops by Cheers twice looking for me. Oc moves to Greenpoint and I hang out with his friends on the roof. I blackout a 20 minute phone call to Narc. I go makeup shopping. I head to Long Island for my cousin's 30th birthday BBQ party. I tell my mom about the abortion. I meet Oc's friends at a bar and lose my favorite jacket. NDN has to get me home. I ride the Circle Line with Dan. Narc posts about this trip to the beach with the Exhibitionist.

Jun 26-Jul 2, '05

(July, 2005)

I hit a low point and feel suicidal. I obsess about the whole Narc thing. I spend more time with NDN and Oc. I go to visit GoldenFinch in Stoneybrook. My stepbrother has to have the skull replacement surgery undone. I meet VJ to say our goodbyes. Oc and I stay up all night "bonding." The next morning my cell phone is smashed again. B comforts me and we go to see War of the Worlds. I meet Dan for the first time. I go to CT with NDN and Oc. We go to Stew Leonard's, smoke up and WigGuy is born.