Jun 19-25, '05

(June, 2005)

I go to Long Island for Father's Day. We visit my grandpa in the hospital. I meet Narc at Yaffa's. His misogyny is revealed. We hang out with Sal at the Tavern. B and I fight on the phone in front of Narc and he tries to grab the phone away. We go to Battery Park and he kicks me out for the Exhibitionist to come over. I stay anyway, but am devastated. He kicks me out early the next morning and I meet the Exhibitionist. Bezoukhoff and I go to hear Contessa's boyfriend's concert in the Village. IrishBird gives us candy at Cheers. B and I have a great day seeing Batman Begins. I make a resolve to break up with Narc. NDN and I walk across the Queensboro Bridge. NDN, Oc and I sing about Schadenfreude. Narc shows up at Cheers, but I ignore his calls. Later that night, we have a terrible fight. He yells at me that we're "not in a relationship!" I leave there, sure it will be the last time. He texts me never to speak to him again. NDN and Oc help me through the breakup. My stepfather and I go stonecarving.

Jun 12-18, '05

(June, 2005)

NDN and I go on our "ethnic food jaunt" in Jackson Heights and later meet up with Hammer and the Wizard. I make a painting and buy a new journal. Narc and I hang out at a "country" bar. NDN meets me and and Narc downtown. A homeless man calls me Narc's "wife." We watch The Grudge and he tells me that he'll "protect me." We go see a movie about sexual abuse at the Film Forum. Narc doesn't invite me to join him and his friends for Batman Begins. We go to the Open Center bookstore. VJ tells me she's moving to Miami. I break my cell phone. NDN hits me at Cheers. I mess up making Narc his appointment at the Apple store. He tells me he loves me twice on the phone. B returns from the Philippines. NV, Narc and I hang out at Cheers. Narc and I have that insanely intense night that I won't even attempt to summarize here. I end up bruised. We go to NDN's sushi dinner and I meet Oc. The "summer crew" is born. I try "mate" for the first time. Nelson is annoying and keeps wanting to go to "McFadden's." NDN and I rate people we see on the street. NDN, Oc and I go to CT. We sent a funny text to the FourteenthFloorBoy. B and I are reunited.

Jun 5-11, '05

(June, 2005)

Narc ignores me on his blog and it breaks my heart. I start drinking again. I go to see Oldboy by myself. Narc continues to be in touch with me more than ever. I meet Anxious for lunch and go for pre-surgery testing. Bezoukhoff gives me Russian sheet music. Cheers starts Thursday night karaoke. Narc calls me to meet him at Yaffa's. he tells me he doesn't really believe that I love him. I promise him that I do. He tells a strange woman that he "met me a year ago, we had a couple of one night stands, and he got me pregnant." I confront him about his blog. We make up and make out on a park bench. He spends the night at my place. We sing karaoke together. I cook for him and buy him ice cream and feel like I'm in domestic bliss. He takes me for the surgery. Later that night, we watch Cinema Paradiso. Hammer comes into town and we meet in Union Square. I go furniture shopping with mom.

May 29-Jun 4, '05

(June, 2005)

NDN helps me grade papers. Hammer leves for D.C. Narc gets back and calls me over. We fight and he threatens to call security if I don't leave. NDN lets me sleep on his couch. I find out that I'm pregnant. I call Narc to tell him. He tells me we're "not in a relationship" and that he's confused about his feelings for me. He leaves for Florida. Bezoukhoff keeps me company. We look at castles online and walk around Tudor City. NDN and I crash the NAACP dinner at the Hilton. Later that night I go to see Narc. I'm not drinking. He shows me his new clothes. Narc avoids having sex with me at first, but later we end up fucking. He teaches me about Industrial music. He tells me the Exhibitionist annoys him. We go out for lunch and to the Apple store.