Oct 16-22, '05

(October, 2005)

I blog about the Lesbian-elevator-incident that took place in July. I flip through Paradise Lost and write about it. Narc calls me several times and leaves drunk messages. I get a great teaching evaluation. My stepbrother has his skull-replacement surgery and it's finally a sucess. Narc and I get in touch at last and spend half an hour on the phone, after Sunshine talks me through it a bit. Narc tells me the Exhibitionist is prostituting. We talk about the shirt I left at his house in August (and replaced). I call Narc drunk and wake him up. He tells me to come over. We have great sex, but I'm not feeling emotionally close to him or very into him. I just don't feel "in love."

Oct 9-15, '05

(October, 2005)

I talk to Liu for a long time on the phone while at Cheers. I get drunk and send Narc a text telling him I miss him, even though it's apparent he's not talking to me now that he's back. I meet Candy at Cheers and she takes off her clothes at my place, asking me to join her in a threesome. I decide to give up alcohol. I meet a new guy at Cheers who lives on the third floor of my building. I have a painful procedure at the doctor and B takes care of me. NDN and I smoke up together and then get into our first fight ever. Narc sends me a text saying "Back." I record all of the bad names my readers have called Narc.

Oct 2-8, '05

(October, 2005)

I think about Narc and obsessively read the Exhibitionist's blog. A man compliments my singing on the bus. I stop by BigSis and Bro-in-Law's Manhattan apartment for the last time. I enjoy choir rehearsal and start speech therapy. B and I bond and eat dinner at La Caridad. NDN tries on my clothes, looking for a Halloween outfit. The man who works at Subway hits on me, and I bump into the Texan again at Cheers. I go to synagogue for the Holidays with NDN and Hammer. I decide to be Medusa for Halloween. I start to miss Narc more and more and to think about him all the time, as I know he's returned from Europe. NDN goes to Amsterdam and sends me some high-emails. I start to get sick. Hammer and Velma come over to watch Holocaust movies. I bump into Mohammed outside the deli and he tries to flirt with me again. I go to Anxious birthday party where I meet the Arch. I text Narc "hi." I go back to Arch's place with Hammer and we smoke up. I watch hours of The Surreal Life on VH1.

Sep 25-Oct 1, '05

(October, 2005)

My mood turns dark and I write a post entitled "The Funeral Banquet." FightingMensch asks me if I'm still "with the guy who beats me up," and KHill tells me if he "had a million dollars he'd impregnate me." B and I ride the Beast and he lends me his CD player. We go to a steakhouse to celebrate JBC's birthday. My students prove to be disturbingly ignorant regarding religion. I get drunk at Manchester in the middle of my long work-day. Me, mom and LilSis take my stepbrother to an outdoor carnival at the hospital. I get existentially pensive and write about "smoking." Mr. Rochester turns 3 years old! I send an email to my 9th grade English teacher. I go to English's birthday party and reveal way too much about myself to BigSis' friends.