Feb 13-19, '05

(February, 2005)

I go with VJ when she gets her "special" tattoo. Later that night I meet Narc at Bar & Books. He says "you've never been more beautiful to me than you are right now. Because you're still and I can finally see you." He tells me that we're the same and that he's never known anyone else who could see his pain. He comes back to my place for the first time since July. He tells me that he loves me but that he can't reconcile it in his head because he thinks we're "bad for each other." The next day we hang out with Anxious. He flirts with her and tells her that he and I are just "fuck buddies." I start to cry. On Valentine's Day he masturbates in front of Anxious (although I don't find out about it until weeks later.) He and I watch 24, go to Waikiki Wally's and I spend the night at his place, during which he tells me that he'll "take care of me."